It was one of those evening where all you want to do is cuddle up on the sofa with a good book. Earlier that day I had been shopping for some groceries and heard the couple at the till next to me argue over how to pack the shopping. It was then I had a thought about love and relationships
back in a simpler era such as the 1900s; and how they have become so complicated over the decades. Woman have become more independent, one of the many reasons for the housing crisis is that woman are now choosing to live alone, but that is a different subject altogether. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as woman have become more dependent and have taken more control over their own lives and it can sometimes spill over into our own relationships. If you take a look back before WW2 woman where housewives and child bearers and not much more, the husband went to work and the wife ran the family home, now woman pretty much do everything. They work, deal with finances, bear children, run multi-million pound corporations. Its amazing! however I still feel there is place for some good old fashioned values.
It got me thinking back to a discussion with a friend at work, she had asked how things where going between myself and my partner whom I had started dating. I told her great! my partner is Eastern European and his country still have an essence of a mans place and a woman’s place. I explained to her that he was extremely attentive in that he feels a woman should be taken care of, a man should open doors, carry her bags and help with the washing up. It was literally a breath of fresh air in return I cooked nice homemade meals when he came home from work and took care of his clothes, as I had came from a previous relationship of 7 years where I was left to do most things, that included all of the housework, so I was really enjoying being with such a romantic and chivalrous gentleman. I was surprised that her reply was “Oh, I wouldn’t like that. I can do it myself” I thought it was a shame that we lived in a society where we felt so independent we wouldn’t let a man take care of us from time to time. I have to admit, I am a sucker for romance and romantic notions. So here I was cuddled up with my book titled “Love letter’s from great men” as I snuggled into the sofa with my tea, I came across a letter that was written by a man in the Civil War to his wife who was torn between the love of his wife an sense of duty to his country; I found it to be truly heartbreaking, here is a part of the letter:
“I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death-and, I suspicious that death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with god, my country, and thee. Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cable that nothing but omnipotence could break; and yet my love of country comes over me like a strong wind and and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield. But O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you, in the garish day and darkest night-amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours-always; always and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by…..”
The letter itself is long and a very enamoring read and was written in 1861, I highly recommend the book to anyone interested. Love is complicated in the 21st century, but I do believe that chivalry is very much alive and kicking, even in this modern day
Buy the book: The love letters of great men